“So, almost 6 months ago, I started dating the most amazing guy ever. He doesn’t care if I do something embarrassing like snort milk out of my nose in a restaurant. I don’t have to do my hair or wear make up for Him to think I’m pretty. He’s super good-looking and He’s the best listener. *Sigh. And the best part: He’s completely in love with me and that will never change.
Here’s a prayer that solidified my decision to unreservedly and completely give Jesus my heart in an exclusive commitment. It’s called “Be Satisfied with Me” by St. Anthony of Padua and it truly does sum up everything I’m going to try to put into words. Plus, St. Anthony is much more poetic than I am!
Prior to doing this 6-month commitment, I used to let small, superficial things clutter the room in my heart. My happiness was often determined by silly distractions like what I wanted guys to think of me or how long I had to wait for the bus in the morning. This left no room for the things that really mattered. There came a point at the end of summer 2012 when I realized I needed to set aside time to single-heartedly live for God. I wanted to be completely satisfied with having a unique relationship with Him alone before giving my heart to anyone else. I knew I was called to the vocation of marriage, but I also knew I was nowhere near being ready to be that person for someone if I didn’t first be everything for Jesus- and let Jesus be that ‘everything’ for me, too.
After I gave Jesus my “yes” on August 26th– a ‘yes’ that gave Him permission to have my heart, a ‘yes’ that admitted I couldn’t be who I was called to be alone- He came into the mansion of my heart, swept out the dust bunnies and cleaned out the old boxes of things that I wasn’t able to get rid of by myself. These 6 months have been like a soul-makeover. The time set aside for learning to love God alone has re-defined what I once thought being in a relationship was all about. Light has been shed on admirable qualities in men like respectfulness and chivalry that I had somehow forgotten existed. Actually living out these months of single-heartedness has shown me how to be at peace with just being unconditionally loved… and it’s pretty incredible! And let me just say this: it is unbelievably freeing to not be worried about relationships!
Being single-hearted for God is important. Let God teach you how to love like Him. Let Him remind you you’re worthy of His love. Let’s learn how to respect and value ourselves as sisters and women in Christ!
Although doing an exclusive commitment for Jesus is not always easy and there always seems to be distractions, guess what? Jesus doesn’t see your failures, only your efforts. And because He knows every square millimeter of your heart, He’ll know when you’re ready for the perfect man to cut in and sweep you off your feet.
Kailey is a nursing student in Edmonton, Alberta. She is a dancer at heart and encountered Christ when she decided to walk into a church for the first time in many years. There, she found confession happening and decided to go. Her life hasn’t been the same since and I was blessed to get to know this fine gal (and her ridiculous dance moves) while on Impact 2012. Thank you for your openness Kails!