“I had always been boy crazy and I struggled with guarding my heart. I always attended mass and I was very involved with the faith. Jesus was important to me and I was constantly praying for God to be at the center of my life, but I never allowed him into the areas of my life that involved boys. Since I always took guy matters into my hands, I experienced a lot of hurt over the years.
During my second year at university I experienced an especially difficult time with boys and one thing led to another and by the end of second year, I had experienced more heartache and disappointment than I had ever before. I started that summer feeling like I was never good enough for any guy and that I wasn’t worth anyone’s time. My heart was in shambles and you could say that I did a complete one-eighty. I went from being boy-crazy to wanting to stay as far away from guys as possible in a matter of weeks.
That summer I was part of the IMPACT Halifax summer mission and as the summer started, I made a pact with myself, that I would completely stay away from boys and focus on myself and putting my heart back together. A few days into mission, I shared my last year with my Parish Team Leader and she suggested that I take six months to date Jesus and fall in love with the only man in my life who would never hurt me. As soon as she suggested this, I knew that I had to do it. At the same time I didn’t want to do to the amount of effort I would have to put into growing in my relationship with Christ.
After a lot of prayer and wrestling with myself, I came to the realization that the only way that I was going to be put back together was with Jesus’ help, and what better way to do this than to get to know Him in a very personal and intimate way? So on May 6th, I started dating the Lord for six months.
When I first started, I had no idea what to do. How do you date someone who is not physically there? It was difficult, but the more I prayed, the more He showed me ways to grow in my relationship with Him. I started to not only pray and attend mass more often but I also found myself wanting to do all these things in order to show Him that I love Him. I learned that love is not a feeling, but a choice, and in my heart, I chose to love. The more I allowed Him to guide our relationship the more He was able to work in my heart. He purged me from the lie that I wasn’t good enough, and He taught me how beautiful and special I truly am. The more I let Jesus romance me and show me His love, the more I fell in love with Him.
I can’t say that it was easy. There were definitely moments were I would refuse to listen to what He was trying to tell me, and there were also times when I felt myself starting to take control of our relationship. But despite my flaws and the mistakes I made, He never gave up on me.
Throughout my commitment, He stuck by me. He never left my side and He was there to challenge me and make me grow into the woman that God created me to be. I came to learn about the beauty of waiting for the right man in my life, and about my deep need for Christ in my heart. I had never experienced such joy and fulfillment in my life. Throughout those six months I still experienced moments where I would get distracted by other men, but the Lord gave me strength to focus on what is most important.
Now that my commitment has come to an end, I realize that those six months reshaped my heart. Not only did Jesus help put my heart back together, he also showed me the kind of love that I deserve; a love so deep and strong that no one could ever destroy it. Jesus will always be the love of my life, and now I know that because I allow Him to love me, he has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
Adriana is a 3rd year student at StFX University where she’s studying Environmental Science. She is an amazing worship leader, loves to salsa and elephants are her favourite animal. You can follow her on Twitter at @AdrianaViale23.