Last week I paid a visit to the Franciscan Sisters of Halifax in Herring Cove. I wanted to go because I was curious what their life was like as active religious and wanted to give God time to speak to my heart outside of campus. The convent is located in a quaint fishing community fifteen kilometers south of Downtown Halifax and my time there was a real gift. It was peaceful and quiet, but we also laughed A LOT. I spent my days hiking, reading, napping, and sharing wonderful conversations with the Sisters over hot cups of coffee. In these busy final months of my undergrad, I needed this more than I knew.
I went with an open heart, asking God to give me a sense of what type of vocation would best fulfill my deepest desires and help me to make use of the talents that I’ve been entrusted. But that was me trying to plan, trying to take things into my own hands. The Lord knows how much I like to plan and be in control and instead, asked me to just be still and to really feel how good His love is.
Letting go and just being in the present moment (with all its uncertainty, struggle and pain) is the best way that I can grow closer to Christ. He’s asking me to TRUST. Its counter-cultural and its difficult but with His grace, I can take things one day at a time and allow myself to just BE.
I crave more simplicity, more quiet, more inner peace. By the end of my stay I had no clearer an idea as to what my future will look like, but I have been made aware of how much I can (and desire to) grow in holiness. I arrived a ball of stress, overtired and worried about thesis deadlines and relationships. But I left knowing that I was doing alright. God doesn’t want me to worry about whatever comes next, not yet. I just need to keep walking forward in faith with my eyes fixed on Christ.
Jesus, you are my anchor, my rock, my unchanging reference point.
One thing I’ve taken away from my stay is that our God wants to fill us with peace and joy, never stress and fear. If you feel any tugs at your heart about discernment, pursue them. Cultivate them. Cast a wide net.
God will not disappoint you.